Recommended Reading List For Men Going Through the 12 Steps

Men often ask me if there are resources that can help them process through the 12 steps. In addition to 12 step workbooks, this book list was created as a supplement to support that journey, drawing on both clinical wisdom and spiritual insight.

This is not meant to be overwhelming or prescriptive, but rather give you varied voices of trusted mentors that can walk alongside you through the 12-step process.

The first book I encourage men to pick up as they start a 12 step reading list is the Sexaholics Anonymous, White Book.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable.

• The Final Freedom – Dr. Doug Weiss

  A practical Christian-based resource specifically for sex addicts beginning the 12-step journey.

  
  

• Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain – Dr. William Struthers

  Explains the neuroscience of pornography addiction, giving clarity on why the struggle feels so unmanageable.

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

• Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing – Jay Stringer

  Shows how our unwanted sexual behaviors actually reveal the path toward God’s healing and freedom.

  
  

• Gentle and Lowly – Dane Ortlund

  Invites weary strugglers to trust in the heart of Christ, who meets us in weakness and failure.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

• Abiding in Christ – Andrew Murray

  Classic devotional on resting in Christ instead of striving, perfect for learning what it means to hand over control.

  
  

• Free to Live – John Eldredge

  Shows how holiness is not about striving harder but about surrendering to the transforming love of God.

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

• Make Sense of Your Story – Adam Young

  Guides readers into exploring their stories, attachment wounds, and trauma—perfect for taking a deep, honest inventory.

• The Soul of Shame – Curt Thompson

  Reveals how shame shapes our inner story and how bringing it into the light leads to healing and freedom.

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

• No More Secrets – Dr. Dennis Swanberg

  Encourages breaking secrecy and practicing honest confession.

  
  

• Daring Greatly – Brené Brown

  Teaches how authentic vulnerability opens the door to connection and healing.

Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

• Changes That Heal – Dr. Henry Cloud

  Addresses areas of brokenness and growth with biblical and psychological wisdom.

• The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness – Timothy Keller

  Short but powerful book on humility, identity in Christ, and releasing pride — very accessible for this step.

  
  

Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

• Emotionally Healthy Spirituality – Peter Scazzero

  Links emotional maturity with spiritual humility and surrender.

• Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God – Timothy Keller

  Deepens understanding of prayer as dependence on God’s transforming power.

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

• The Peacemaker – Ken Sande

  A biblical guide to reconciliation and conflict resolution.

• The Five Languages of Apology – Gary Chapman & Jennifer Thomas

  Teaches how to apologize in ways that others can receive, helping build willingness for genuine amends.

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

• Boundaries – Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

  Helps discern healthy, appropriate ways to make amends without further harm.

• Making Peace with Your Past – Tim Sledge

  Addresses how past wounds affect relationships and provides tools for making peace.

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

• Scary Close – Donald Miller

  A raw and engaging look at dropping the mask, owning mistakes, and living authentically.

• The Road Back to You – Ian Morgan Cron & Suzanne Stabile

  An Enneagram-based guide that helps readers understand their patterns and blind spots, enriching ongoing self-inventory.

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God…

• The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People – John Ortberg

  A practical, relatable guide to spiritual disciplines like prayer, solitude, and service that deepen connection with God.

• Hearing God – Dallas Willard

  Classic work on learning to recognize and respond to God’s voice in daily life.

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps… we tried to carry this message to others.

• Life Together – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

  A vision for authentic Christian community and service.

• Quick Reference to Sexuality and Relationship Counseling – Tim Clinton, Mark Laaser

  Equips readers to extend healing and hope to others walking the same path.