When a man enters recovery after betraying his spouse, most people assume the primary emotion will be shame. And yes, shame is usually there. But underneath it, often tangled up in it, is something men don’t expect: Grief. That word alone can feel misplaced. “I’m the one who caused the damage. What right do I have to grieve?” I hear that often. But grief is not reserved for the innocent. Grief is what happens when reality collides with illusion. And in early recovery, reality

If you’re a man in recovery, you’ve probably realized something sobering: sobriety does not automatically equal connection. You can stop acting out. You can attend group. You can install accountability software. And still feel emotionally distant from your wife. That’s because rebuilding intimacy after sexual addiction requires more than behavioral change. It requires relational courage. For many men, especially those who also struggle with intimacy anorexia—the intentional

Men often ask me if there are resources that can help them process through the 12 steps. In addition to 12 step workbooks, this book list was created as a supplement to support that journey, drawing on both clinical wisdom and spiritual insight . This is not meant to be overwhelming or prescriptive, but rather give you varied voices of trusted mentors that can walk alongside you through the 12-step process. The first book I encourage men to pick up as they start a 12 step re

When sexual betrayal or infidelity shatters your relationship, the ground beneath you can feel like it’s been ripped away. Betrayed partners often describe feeling lost, disoriented, and unsure of how to move forward. You may be wrestling with shock, grief, anger, and confusion, all while wondering if you’ll ever feel whole again. Even if friends and family care about you, they often don’t understand the depth of betrayal trauma . That’s why a betrayed partner support group

I’ve sat across from a lot of men who want to change, who want to get free from the grip of sexual addiction. And almost every one of...

The holiday season brings some challenges to sobriety for the sex addict. Changes in routine and schedule create opportunity for acting out that may not currently be accounted for in the recovering persons sobriety plan. Family gatherings may bring about emotional triggers that one does not normally have to deal with...

Betrayal triggers are emotional, psychological, or situational cues that remind the betrayed partner of the betrayal they've experienced. These triggers can vary widely from person to person, but common examples include...