Digital Boundaries for Sex Addiction
- Joseph McKinley
- Jul 26
- 14 min read
I’ve spent many hours alongside men wrestling with unwanted sexual behaviors and walked alongside their spouses who’ve felt the heartbreak of betrayal. In hundreds of coaching sessions and support groups, one truth rings out: willpower alone isn’t enough when our devices are gateways to temptation. Countless hours of research into porn blocker software and accountability apps have shown me that without robust digital safeguards, even the most determined recovery plan can crumble.
But before I jump into the nitty‑gritty of software comparisons, let’s be clear: no application or filter can change your heart. Emotional work: coaching, therapy, honest accountability and rebuilding trust remains the bedrock of lasting change. These tools serve as guardrails, buying space for the deeper work to happen.
Why Digital Safeguards Matter in Recovery
When a man (or woman) struggling with sexual compulsivity picks up a smartphone or opens a laptop, his thumb is a trigger and an hour of scrolling can unravel days, weeks, or months of progress. Likewise, betrayed partners often live in constant fear that their spouse will hide behind screens again. I’ve learned that:
Access Is Temptation’s Doorstep: The very convenience that makes our devices miraculous also hands addicts a direct path to relapse.
Secrecy Thrives in Darkness: Without transparency or filters, shame keeps addicts hiding, lying, and feeling powerless.
Accountability Sparks Hope: Knowing that someone sees your digital footprints can shock you out of autopilot, urging you to pause before clicking “Enter.”
In short, digital boundaries give recovery a fighting chance. But remember: they’re not cures. They are temporary safeguards—tools meant to support therapy, coaching, group work, and honest conversations.
Accountability & Blocking Software and Digital Boundaries for Sex Addiction: Granular Overviews
Below, you’ll find high-level bullet points for each software, what it does, how it works, pricing tiers, followed by a detailed paragraph exploring strengths and limitations.
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What It Does
Offers both AI‑driven screen accountability (blurred screenshots scanned for explicit content) and an optional web filter.
Sends real‑time or weekly reports to one or more accountability partners.
How It Works
Installs a lightweight desktop and/or mobile client that periodically captures blurred snapshots of the screen.
Utilizes machine‑learning algorithms to detect nudity or pornographic content in those screenshots.
Blocks a curated database of porn sites if the filter is enabled (Windows, Mac, Android; iOS filtering is limited to Safari traffic).
Partners or "allys" receive detailed or summary reports via email or app, showing flagged screenshots with timestamps.
Pricing
Individual Plan: $17 /month or $180 /year (save ~$24).
Group Plan (2–5 people): $14 /person /month or $150 /person /year.
Larger Groups: Custom pricing available for 6+ users.
Detailed Overview
Covenant Eyes has become the gold standard in screen accountability because it doesn’t just log URL traffic—it actually samples what’s on your screen. That means even activity inside apps (private browsers, social‑media embedded links, video‑based platforms) can be flagged. Once installed, the software blurs those screenshots before analysis to protect privacy, but it still picks up potentially problematic content. If an addict tries to disable the service, the partner receives an immediate alert. The optional web filter adds a second layer by blocking known pornographic domains, but it’s not foolproof: new or obscure sites can slip through. On iPhones, Covenant Eyes relies on VPN‑based filtering for Safari, so it doesn’t catch in‑app browsers (e.g., within social media apps). Some clients mention occasional false positives—innocuous images getting flagged—but most agree that even a few inconveniences are worth the broken cycle of secrecy.
Use this link to receive a 30 day free trial!
What It Does
Provides real‑time monitoring and instant alerts for questionable activity across browsers, apps, and typed content.
Sends detailed logs and descriptions (no screenshots) to designated accountability partners.
How It Works
Installs on Windows, Mac, Android, iOS, and Linux with permissions to monitor typing in browsers, social apps, and documents.
Flags activity based on keyword triggers, site/category blacklists, and a built‑in algorithm for “highly questionable” content.
Partners receive push notifications the moment the software detects a breach (e.g., search for porn terms, visits to flagged domains).
Users can customize sensitivity levels—“strict,” “moderate,” or “lenient”—and define specific words or sites to watch.
Pricing
Individual Plan: $7 /month or $64 /year (two‑month savings).
Family Plan (up to 5 devices): $12 /month or $108 /year.
Detailed Overview
Accountable2You’s strength is immediacy: as soon as something suspicious occurs—like typing “xxx” or accessing a questionable URL—an alert goes to your partner in real time. Unlike providers that rely solely on URL‑based blocking, A2Y can detect typed messages (even in private notes). It logs every flagged event with details, timestamps, and the specific keyword or category that triggered it. For Windows and Mac, it works at the operating system level; for Android, it requires Accessibility Service permissions; for iOS, it must be installed under a VPN profile—so system‑wide coverage on Apple devices can be spotty. Because there’s no image‑based AI, it won’t flag visual content inside an app unless the site’s URL or metadata triggers it. But that also means fewer false positives. People who have integrated A2Y into their recovery often say the real‑time alert is like a friend tapping you on the shoulder before you tip over the edge.
Use this link to receive a $20 off your purchase!
What It Does
Tracks browsing history and app usage, then sends weekly summary reports (no real‑time alerts).
Notifies designated partners if the software is disabled or uninstalled.
How It Works
Monitors standard browser traffic on Windows and Android; limited iOS reporting via a VPN profile (no in‑app browser coverage).
Categorizes visited URLs and app use into “safe,” “not sure,” or “explicit” buckets using an internal database.
Partners get an emailed report every week, including straight‑forward charts and flagged instances.
Tamper alerts: if someone tries to uninstall or disable the app, Ever Accountable alerts the accountability partner immediately.
Pricing
Monthly Plan: $7 /month.
Annual Plan: $89 /year.
Detailed Overview
Ever Accountable markets itself as “simplicity with transparency.” Instead of bombarding you with real‑time pings, it compiles a clear, easy‑to‑scan summary of your week’s digital activity. It flags anything that pops up in its “explicit or suspicious” database, but it won’t screenshot or describe exactly what you saw. Many users appreciate Ever’s straightforwardness: no complex keyword settings, no blurred screenshots, no algorithms to outsmart. On Windows and Android, it does a decent job of catching browser behavior, but like most apps, it struggles with in‑app browsers on iOS. If a user deletes the app thinking they can skim beneath the radar, Ever sends a “Tamper Alert” to the partner—an immediate red flag. While it lacks blocking features, its ethos centers on cultivating honest conversations at the end of each week.
4. Canopy
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What It Does
Uses AI‑powered filters to block or blur all explicit content (images, videos, and URLs) in real time.
Offers “sexting prevention” by stripping out nudity from incoming images.
How It Works
Installs as a system filter on Windows and Mac; on iOS, it operates via a VPN to filter Safari traffic; on Android, it uses an Accessibility Service.
Employs computer‑vision algorithms that analyze every image or video frame as it loads. If nudity is detected, the content is either blurred or replaced with a warning screen.
Maintains a dynamic database of blocked sites that synchronize across devices.
Parents (or accountability partners) can set up a central Canopy dashboard to push filter settings to all linked devices.
Pricing
3‑Device Plan: $7.99 /month or $79.99 /year.
10‑Device Plan: $15.99 /month or $159.99 /year.
Detailed Overview
Canopy’s claim to fame is its image‑level protection. Unlike blockers that rely solely on URL blacklists, Canopy scans incoming images and video frames—even in articles or social feeds—and intervenes if it finds nudity. If you visit a page with an embedded explicit photo, the AI identifies it and blurs or blocks it before you see it. That means fewer “safe” porn sites slipping through the cracks. For families with teenagers, this level of protection can be crucial—no more guessing whether a link in a meme might lead to soft‑core shock content. On Mac and Windows, it’s seamless; on iOS, it only works for Safari (not in‑app browsers), and on Android, it can delay page loads slightly because of the processing overhead. Canopy does not produce accountability reports—its sole focus is prevention. Some users complain that family‑friendly sites (e.g., medical or historical content with nudity) occasionally get over‑blocked, but most say that erring on the side of caution is better than scarring.
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What It Does
Acts as a smart Wi‑Fi router with built‑in parental controls, combining content filtering, screen time scheduling, and device‑level management.
Manages all devices on the home network, from smartphones to gaming consoles.
How It Works
Ships as a standalone router that you plug into your existing modem; runs a proprietary firmware that filters web traffic by category (e.g., adult, social media, gaming).
Uses DNS‑based filtering to block domains flagged as explicit or harmful before the request reaches your device.
Allows you to create user profiles (e.g., “Dad,” “Son,” “Guest”) and assign time limits or filter levels for each.
Offers “Pause Internet” functionality (pause Wi‑Fi for individual devices or the entire network). Premium features (threat detection, additional analytics) require a monthly subscription.
Pricing
Router Hardware: $299 one‑time purchase for the Gryphon Guardian.
Premium Subscription: $7.99 /month (advanced threat detection, ad blocking, historical analytics).
Detailed Overview
Gryphon sits at the center of your home network—every device that connects to Wi‑Fi funnels through it. That means you don’t need to install individual filtering apps on each gadget. Parents, or addicts seeking a structured environment, can set granular rules: no streaming adult content after 9 pm, block all social media between work hours, or simply turn off internet access on weekends. For families with multiple people in recovery (or parents wanting to protect kids), Gryphon’s network‑level control is unmatched. However, if you step outside the home—say, on cellular data—the filter vanishes. Unlike accountability apps that report to partners, Gryphon’s mission is prevention and management, not accountability. Some addicts have tried to connect through a mobile hotspot or a neighbor’s Wi‑Fi to bypass Gryphon, so pairing it with device‑level filters or accountability software can close those loopholes.
6. Honorable Mentions
Net Nanny
Filter‑Based parental control with a strong reputation for families.
Pricing: $39.99 /year for one device; multi‑device plans up to $99.99 /year.
Qustodio
Family‑Focused: time limits, GPS tracking, app blocking.
Pricing: Free tier for one device; Premium: $54.95 /year (up to 5 devices), $96.95 /year (up to 10 devices).
Freedom
Productivity & Blocker Hybrid: blocks websites and apps across all devices.
Pricing: $8.99 /month; $29 /6 months; $129 /year.
These tools excel in niches—families with young children (Net Nanny, Qustodio) or professionals needing focus (Freedom)—but they lack the specialized accountability features addicts and partners often require.
How People Try to Circumvent Software—and Counter Strategies
Even the most robust software can be undermined if an addict is determined. I’ve seen men erase entire devices, swap out routers, or run virtual machines—all to break free of digital constraints. Below is a high‑level overview of common workarounds (not step‑by‑step instructions) and ways to defend against them:
Incognito/Private Browsing
Workaround: Private modes don’t log history in the browser, so URL‑based blockers may not catch the site.
Counter Strategy: Use software that monitors screenshots (e.g., Covenant Eyes) or monitors all traffic(e.g., Gryphon’s DNS filtering).
Alternative or Hidden Browsers
Workaround: Installing a third‑party browser (e.g., Opera, Brave) that isn’t explicitly blocked.
Counter Strategy: Lock down app installations via Screen Time (iOS) or Family Link (Android), disabling “install from unknown sources.”
VPNs and Proxy Servers
Workaround: Tunneling traffic through a VPN can hide visited sites from DNS‑based filters.
Counter Strategy: Monitor for VPN installation. Programs like Accountable2You flag VPNs as suspicious, and Gryphon can block known VPN domains at the network level.
Factory Resets & Device Swaps
Workaround: Wiping the phone or using a burner device eliminates installed blockers.
Counter Strategy: Set device passcodes controlled by a partner or sponsor; use Find My iPhone or Google Find My Device to track suspicious behavior.
Sideloaded Apps & APKs (Android)
Workaround: Installing an APK bypasses the Google Play Store.
Counter Strategy: Enforce “Unknown Sources” off in Settings > Security; supervise the user’s Google account and require your password for new apps.
Browser Developer Tools
Workaround: Some users disable CSS or JS in Developer Tools to load content that should be blocked.
Counter Strategy: Use AI‑driven content filters (like Canopy) that analyze images and text in real time, not just code.
Tip for Partners: If it feels like the addict is always one step ahead, it may be less about the software itself and more about emotional avoidance. Ultimately, a strong community of peers, sponsors, and honest conversations is the best “counter strategy” to deception. Read this blog post on motivations that men have to lie.
Locking Down Smartphones: Step‑by‑Step Guides
iPhone (iOS) Device Lockdown
Enable Screen Time & Set Passcode
Go to Settings > Screen Time > Turn On Screen Time.
Choose “This is My Child’s iPhone” (or “This is My iPhone” if you’re the recovering user but want someone else to hold the passcode).
Tap Use Screen Time Passcode, then create a 4‑digit passcode that only your partner or sponsor knows.
Disable Safari & Other Browsers
Under Screen Time, tap Content & Privacy Restrictions → Allowed Apps.
Toggle Safari (and any other installed browsers) to Off.
Restrict App Store & Prevent New Installs
Still under Content & Privacy Restrictions, tap iTunes & App Store Purchases → Installing Apps → Don’t Allow.
Also set Deleting Apps → Don’t Allow, so the accountability app itself can’t be removed.
Limit Web Content
Within Content & Privacy Restrictions, tap Content Restrictions → Web Content → Limit Adult Websites.
For extra control, choose “Allowed Websites Only,” then manually add sites (e.g., “apple.com,” “google.com”) to a safe list.
Disable In‑App Browsers
Some apps (YouTube, Reddit, Twitter) have in‑app browsers. Unfortunately, iOS doesn’t let you completely disable them.
Workaround: Under Content Restrictions → Web Content → set “Allowed Websites Only”—this forces all URLs to go through the restricted list, even in‑app.
Turn Off Siri Web Search
Go to Screen Time → Content & Privacy Restrictions → Allowed Apps → Siri & Dictation → Off.
Android Device Lockdown
Set Up Google Family Link (Parent Supervision)
Install Google Family Link on the parent’s phone and Family Link for Children & Teens on the user’s device.
Follow prompts to create or designate a supervised Google account for the recovering user.
In Family Link, lock down apps, set screen time limits, and approve (or deny) app installations.
Disable Unknown Sources
Go to Settings → Security → Install unknown apps (or “Unknown sources”).
Ensure the toggle is Off for all apps, preventing APK sideloading.
Block or Lock Down Browsers
Use Family Link to block access to Google Chrome, Firefox, or any installed browsers.
For added security, install an app‑locker (e.g., Norton App Lock) and require a PIN to open any browser.
Enforce Content Filters via Google Play
Open Google Play Store → Settings → Parental controls → On → set a PIN.
Under Apps & Games, set age restrictions to “Low maturity” so that only family‑friendly apps can be installed.
Utilize Built‑In Digital Wellbeing Tools
On Android 9 (Pie) and above, go to Settings → Digital Wellbeing & parental controls.
Set App timers for specific apps (e.g., Chrome, YouTube). Once time is up, the app locks until midnight.
Disable Developer Options
Go to Settings → About phone → tap Build number seven times to enable Developer Options if not already.
Then in Settings → Developer Options, ensure options like USB Debugging and OEM Unlocking are Off, making it harder to exploit advanced workarounds.
Dumb Phones: The Ultimate Minimalist Alternative
If you’ve tried every blocker, filter, and accountability app, yet digital temptation still pulls you under, consider stepping down to a “dumb phone”—a device with only basic calling and texting features. Here’s what to know:
Overview: Built as “a phone you actually want to use as little as possible.” Includes calls, texts, basic navigation (with offline maps), and a simple “note” function.
Positives: Elegant industrial design; includes a USB‑C e‑ink screen; no browser or app store.
Limitations: Some users report spotty cell reception; pricey for limited functionality.
Overview: A modern minimalist phone that allows calls, texts, and maps but no web browser, no social apps.
Positives: Sleek, durable, and distraction‑free. Comes with its own number—no dual SIM headaches.
Limitations: Lacks email, banking apps, and essential services (you’ll need a secondary device for that).
Punkt MP02
Overview: Designed for digital minimalists—calls, texts, and voice‑to‑text SMS. No camera, no browser.
Positives: Swiss‑engineered quality; excellent battery life; hardware encryption for messages.
Limitations: Expensive for what it does; not widely available on all carriers; no app ecosystem.
Switching to a "dumb phone" is not a lifelong sentence—think of it as digital detox wings, giving you the space to rebuild habits. If you’re in early recovery and every swipe on a smartphone feels like a risk, a dumb phone can be the iron gate around your digital temptations. Eventually, once you’ve built healthier coping skills, you can reintroduce a smartphone with accountability tools in place, but I've coached many men who never made the move back to a smart phone because they enjoyed their digital detox!
A Note for Partners Who Feel Overwhelmed
I know: reading about every app, step, and lockdown can feel like trying to learn a new language at warp speed. If you’re a spouse or partner watching your loved one struggle, it might feel like too much or too technical. Here’s what I want you to know:
Start Small: You don’t have to lock everything down in a single afternoon. Pick one tool—maybe Covenant Eyes or Accountable2You—and focus on that for a week.
Ask for Help: If you’re not tech‑savvy, ask a trusted friend, a younger family member, or even your coach to guide the setup.
Breathe: It’s normal to feel anxious. Your role is to create a safe environment, not to become an IT expert overnight.
Focus on Connection: Software is secondary to rebuilding trust. While you set up filters, also plan honest conversations, shared check‑ins, or daily “technology agreements.”
You are not alone—and your dedication matters. Even imperfect digital safeguards can break a pattern of secrecy, giving your spouse (and yourself) a chance at true healing.
If you would like personalized support and guidance for setting up digital boundaries on your devices or in your home, schedule a digital boundaries session with me today.
Emotional Work Beyond Software
Digital boundaries for sex addiction—blockers, filters, dumb phones—do not replace inner transformation. In my work as a recovery coach, I’ve seen two addicts with identical software setups take drastically different paths:
Addict A uses Covenant Eyes and A2Y but never does therapy or 12‑step work. He avoids shame by hiding minor slips, resentments build, and eventually his filters mean nothing.
Addict B uses the same tools but also does weekly therapy, finds a sponsor, and practices radical honesty. When he slips, he reaches out, owns it, and leans into discomfort rather than running.
Both men had the same “digital fences” yet only one learned to replace shame with accountability, acceptance and self‑compassion. The lesson? Tools hold the line; emotional work builds the person.
If you (or your spouse) skip the therapy, group work, or coaching sessions, the software becomes a glorified speed bump, useful but ultimately drive‑through. True recovery means wrestling with shame, hurt, trauma, and secrets. Software simply ensures that while you wrestle, you can’t unconsciously sneak back through the open door.
Why Investing in Coaching Matters
All of the above tools can slow you down. They can beep, block, or alert your partner when you reach for the dark corners of the internet. But they cannot turn on a light in your soul. Coaching leads you toward the light. In one‑on‑one sessions, I help men and their spouses heal. You can...
Identify core shame messages that fuel compulsive behaviors (e.g., “I’m not worthy of love”).
Process betrayal trauma so partners can rebuild trust rather than exist in constant fear.
Develop healthy coping skills for loneliness, boredom, and stress—so a smartphone isn’t a siren song.
Create a relapse prevention plan that extends beyond software: spiritual disciplines, boundary setting, and community support.
If you’re tired of fighting the same battle—installing a filter only to find another work‑around, reach out for a free consultation. My goal isn’t to sell you “better software”; it’s to help you transform the heart that keeps turning to porn in the first place.
Final Thoughts
Digital tools—Covenant Eyes, Accountable2You, Ever Accountable, Canopy, and Gryphon are powerful, but they are just that: tools. Like the walls around a fortress, they keep enemies out while the defenders do the essential work within. Only once the soul is reinforced by inner work, shame resilience, and honest community can we remove the gates without fear.
If you’re reading this and feeling the weight of uncertainty, take a breath. Start with one app. Pick one instruction for iOS or Android. Have a conversation with your spouse or sponsor about installing it tomorrow. Then build from there.
Recovery without digital boundaries for sex addiction is a setup for failure, but recovery that relies solely on software is incomplete. Marry the two: use tech to give yourself a cushion, and use healing work to reconstruct your life.
Remember:
You are not alone. This journey is hard, but every tool, every accountability app, every filtered browser, is a step toward freedom. If you need help navigating the emotional terrain, I’m here. Let’s walk this path together.
Ready for personalized support? Schedule a free consultation and let’s build a digital boundary plan, plus the emotional foundation you need for lasting recovery.
This article does contain affiliate links. While I do encourage clients to use these types of softwares I do not recomment one over the other. It depends on each clients unique needs.
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