The holiday season brings some challenges to sobriety for the sex addict. Changes in routine and schedule create opportunity for acting out that may not currently be accounted for in the recovering persons sobriety plan. Family gatherings may bring about emotional triggers that one does not normally have to deal with.
Before you slice the Christmas “HAM” this season, here are a few points to help you know how to stay sober over the holiday season.
Have a Plan
Cliches are true for a reason and this one is no exception. If you fail to plan you plan to fail. What is your plan for the holiday? Are you taking off work? Are you traveling? Will you be somewhere you will have opportunity and access to material you wouldn’t normally have access to. What triggers might arise out of opportunity or loneliness?
You may want to have your accountability support system on alert. Plan to make extra phone calls, attend extra groups, schedule a session with a professional, set up some temporary boundaries and consequences. Do some scouting of the situations you will be in before you are in the midst of them. Eliminate any foreseen issues beforehand. Schedule your activities rather than letting your current emotional state dictate what you do. Set up check ins with safe recovery allies.
Assess Your Emotions
If you have been in recovery for a while, I hope you know your emotional triggers. Can you look ahead and forsee what might get to you. Maybe you’re going to spend time with family who make you feel less than special or worthless. Who can you talk with ahead of time about this? Who can you talk to in the moment? Do you have someone you can share your feelings with? Don’t suppress those emotions and let them come out or cope with them in unhealthy ways. Eat healthy, move your body, focus your mind. Plan to obtain dopamine from healthy behaviors rather than unhealthy ones.
Make Conversation
If you are in a relationship, chances are your partner will be triggered by something during the holidays. Don’t let those triggers ruin your holiday. Instead, when triggers arise, get curious about where they came from instead of being defensive against them. Ask your partner how they are feeling and validate it. Is there anything you can be responsible for? Own it. Ask them how you can meet their need in the midst of the trigger. This conversation will bring you closer together rather than further apart. That’s what you really want during this season.
Conclusion
This season has tripped many a person up On their path to sobriety, but if you are intentional with your plan and your tools you don’t have to be one of them.
Stay the course, one day at a time!
Merry Christmas!
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