Recovery isn’t about being perfect; it’s about becoming skillful. Skill comes from practice, and practice gets better when you study it. That’s why I often tell clients: be a scientist about your addiction. Don’t just white-knuckle and hope. Observe, measure, test, and learn. Scientists don’t shame data; they use it. You can, too. Think about your GPS. When you make a wrong turn, it doesn’t yell, “You idiot!” It calmly says, “Recalculating,” and shows you the next best rout

I’ve spent many hours alongside men wrestling with unwanted sexual behaviors and walked alongside their spouses who’ve felt the...