When a man enters recovery after betraying his spouse, most people assume the primary emotion will be shame. And yes, shame is usually there. But underneath it, often tangled up in it, is something men don’t expect: Grief. That word alone can feel misplaced. “I’m the one who caused the damage. What right do I have to grieve?” I hear that often. But grief is not reserved for the innocent. Grief is what happens when reality collides with illusion. And in early recovery, reality